"He's a man, Bella. A grown man and if he even considers pursuing something with you, do you seriously think he's going to want anything but sex?" Angela told me worriedly.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Content Warning: This chapter as well as the majority of the story will contain explicit sexual content, BDSM themes, and language which some may find offensive.
So the response to this has been crazy overwhelming! I'm so excited to start the next chapter. It's the whole reason I started this story was to write the next chapter. I do have a few ideas for continuing it, but no posting schedule at the moment. Stay posted.
For the moment these chapters are unbeta'd... so mistakes are mine.
Chapter 2 Always Be Prepared
*~Bella Swan~*It was three weeks later that I was finally able to make an appointment to see Dr. Cullen in his office. I would have preferred something sooner, but as those weeks passed, I ended up being grateful for the extra time to prepare myself.
Of course, my entire plan was riding on the hopes that Dr. Cullen would be far too busy to go searching for a new submissive in that time. If he'd already found someone, I was certain he'd be much less open to my… subtle advances.
I was never the type of girl to initiate a sexual encounter with someone, nor did I want to be.
Quite honestly, I would have much preferred for Dr. Cullen to pursue me himself, but based on the nature of our doctor /patient relationship, it was clear to me that I would need to be the one to make the first move.
I had no intention of throwing myself at him. I just wanted to make my desire for him very clear. After that, it was up to him to decide whether or not he wanted what I had to offer.
Over the years, I'd imagined myself with Dr. Cullen in so many scenarios. At first, my more childish fantasies involved kissing and petting. As I got older, and began to discover my body and the pleasure I could give myself, the thoughts of us together became more… sexual. I soon found myself imagining what it would be like to serve him – offer my body to be used for his pleasure. I imagined his voice becoming dark and demanding, sharply commanding me to obey or be denied.
In my fantasies, there was nothing I wouldn't do for him.
The last thing I wanted was to go to Dr. Cullen unprepared. I wouldn't presume to know what his needs were or what he would want from me, so if I hoped to have him take his pleasure from me, then my body needed had to be ready for anything.
The problem with that line of thought was the fact that I was still a virgin in almost every way.
Over the years, I'd been kissed a few times. Jake and I even made out once when he was still having sexual identity issues, but aside from those kisses and a bit of under-the-shirt petting, I was relatively untouched.
With only a few weeks left, I had a decision to make.
Using my credit card, I placed an order on Amazon. I would probably be broke for a couple weeks and be unable to buy any new books or indulge in my weekly pint of Ben and Jerry's, but it was a sacrifice I was more than willing to make to achieve my ultimate goal.
Within a few short days, I was opening a large package filled with everything I needed to get myself ready – two vibrators, one of which was six inches long and the other was nine, a set of ben wah balls, medium and large sized anal plugs, toy cleaner, bottle of lubricant, nipple clamps, and a book on anal sex for women.
Mom wasn't particularly nosey, but I still had to be careful. I knew she'd really freak out if she knew I had any of this stuff, so I ended up storing it box in the back of my mattress. If I didn't give her a reason to be suspicious, she wouldn't go looking.
With two and half weeks left till my appointment, I knew I needed to start as soon as possible. Thankfully, that evening, Mom had a meeting with her book club, so she was going to be out of the house for hours.
To set everything up, I dimmed the lights in my room, letting some soft music play in the back ground. To start, I began with the smaller vibrator. I might have also had a photograph I printed off the internet of Dr. Cullen from the hospital charity auction last summer.
Not wanting to just stick it in to get it over with, I lay back on the bed, making myself comfortable thinking only of Dr. Cullen and how he might take my virginity...
"Isabella, I must say you look breathtaking laying there spread open for me," he admits, unable to tear his eyes away from body. His slacks are tented slightly in the front, so I know he wants me.
A soft moan erupts from my lips at the thought of him taking me – using me for his pleasure. After flipping the switch on the vibrator, I move to touch the toy to my clit, seeking relief from the ache he gave me, just being near.
Before the smooth surface of the vibrator ever makes contact, he rips it from hands. "Did you actually think I would just stand there and simply watch you fuck MY PUSSY with that plastic piece of junk?" he growls, making me whimper in response. I know his question is rhetorical. He doesn't want or expect an answer unless he commands otherwise. "Listen to you – you actually want this don't you? You want this rubber cock vibrating against your clit. You want to be greedy, and come the easy way…"
"Fine," he whispers harshly, his face just a few inches from mine. I gasp at the fire I see in his eyes. I can't help it.
He's set the power on the vibrator to high and pressed it firmly against my clit.
It's too intense, making me struggle not to push his hands away, but I hold my tongue and grab onto the bed rails to restrain myself.
My climax is suddenly fast approaching, creeping up on me from out of nowhere. I need to come so bad it's starting to hurt. He only presses harder.
"You're going to come for this fucking toy aren't you?" he taunts. "You're going to give it something that belongs to me." I clench my eyes shut tight as I try to resist. I want to save it for him, for when he's inside, but there's no time – it's too late.
I'm gonna come.
I feel his other hand on my breast squeezing the firm nipple, tugging it between his thumb and forefinger. I can't help but cry out when I realize it's the first time he's touched me, but still I struggle against the pleasure the toy promises to give.
"Come right now, Isabella," he demands sharply, and I must obey – my body knows no other way.
His hand covers my mouth to stifle my cries as he rips the orgasm from my sore clit, wracking my body with spasms of pleasure.
"Keep those legs open," he growls, still covering my mouth as he tosses the toy aside and take his cock in his hand, stroking it roughly, showing me the way he needs to be touched, "You see, the difference between you and me, Isabella - I might be fucking my hand right now, giving myself a bit of pleasure before I take it from you, but when I cum, it's going to be inside this body." He cups my hot cunt with one hand and inserts his fingers into my mouth just for emphasis. I know if he had a spare hand, the rest of his fingers would be stuffed in my ass.
I nod my head to show him I understand.
"Now… keep those legs spread… I don't want any resistance when I start fucking you." At that demand, I open my legs as wide as they can comfortably go, feeling the smooth skin of his hot cock pressing firmly against my entrance.
I've never been so wet.
As my lips part, a breath away from his smooth neck, it's like I can almost taste his masculine scent on my tongue. He's all around me, surrounding my body with his commanding presence, making me feel everything. One strong hand braces my hip, while the other grips my neck – not too tight – not to choke or strangle, but as a physical promise that he has my life in his hands – that he'll take care of me – that I belong to him and no one else.
I trust him. I want to be possessed.
Finally, I feel him pushing harder against me, nudging his way into my virginal body, cock gliding slowly through the narrow passage.
It burns, but not too much.
"So fucking tight," he groans, staring deeply into my eyes, showing me how good I make him feel. It's then I know that any pain I suffer is worth it to see this pleasure on his face.
He's perfect, stunning... beyond imagination.
Over and over he thrusts, pushing into me until the burning pain is nothing but a dull ache. The hand on my neck moves to find my clit and it's over. I'm coming hard – shaking even...
"Master," I cried out, pushing the toy in once more.
For a moment I opened my eyes half-expecting to find Dr. Cullen there, but then I remembered... it was nothing more than a fantasy.
The blood-spotted towel resting between my legs was just another reminder that I didn't have what I wanted. Not yet...
I frowned at the sight, ready to wash the evidence away.
Feeling tired and sore, I popped a few aspirin before running a hot bath, wincing when the heated water met my tender flesh. I would need to give myself a day or two to rest and heal before I continued preparing my pussy for Dr. Cullen. In the meantime there were plenty of other things to work on.
In the past few days, for the most part, I used any free time I had practicing my oral skills with the larger vibrator, making sure to watch a few instructional videos to be certain I was doing it right. I had a feeling Dr. Cullen would understand if he ended up making me gag, but it just wouldn't do if I ended up vomiting on those shiny shoes because I couldn't take a cock properly.
One thing I hated about performing a blow job with a vibrator was the lack of taste, so I could hardly wait to find out what Dr. Cullen would taste like. I had somewhat of an idea, just based on the amazing way he smelled while stitching me up when I cut my hand open helping Jake tune his guitar last year.
Jake had such an aversion to blood that he fainted, and since I'd use any excuse to see Dr. Cullen, I had Jake's mom drop me off at his office to get it taken care of.
Now that I had my own car, a new blue Civic, courtesy of Charlie, I wouldn't have to let Mom know about my appointment. To be on the safe side, I already decided to tell her I was spending the night at Jake or Angela's place, that way if my plan was successful, I would be able to spend the evening with Dr. Cullen if that's what he wanted. God I hoped he did. It made me wet and flustered just thinking about the erotic things he could do to my body.
I just hoped I'd be enough for him, because I wanted us to experience everything together, which was why I needed to focus more on anal penetration. Whether that was something he needed or not, I would be prepared to have him enter me without restraint. The last thing I wanted was for Dr. Cullen to feel like he needed to hold back because he was worried about hurting me.
As the book advised, I started out slow using just my soapy fingers while I was in the shower, mostly just to get an idea of how resistant my inner muscles were to penetration. It took several attempts before my body was finally starting to relax and accept the intrusion. Before long, I was able to get two and then three inside me comfortably, especially when I imagined mine being replaced with Dr. Cullen's long, sexy fingers.
Within a week, I was able to take the medium sized plug and the six inch vibrator in my ass without much discomfort, and I'd started trying to use the nine inch vibrator in my pussy. All that, combined with my fantasies of Dr. Cullen made for some extremely powerful orgasms.
I could hardly imagine how good actually being with him might be.
The next thing I had to work on was using the nipple clams. As soon as I saw them I thought they looked painful and they kind of were. I almost threw them out at one point, but a blog article I found suggested I wait until I was more aroused to put them on and that seemed to help a lot – the slight bite of pain actually intensified my release. I hoped that if things worked out, Dr. Cullen would want to try using them on me at some point.
With only a couple days left before my appointment, I was becoming extremely anxious. At one point, I nearly psyched myself into thinking that Dr. Cullen would be angered by my advances and kick me out of his office for good. Sadly, that was a real possibility, but if I was even going to try to give it a chance, I had to put those negative thoughts out of my mind.
I couldn't quit now. If I did, I'd always be wondering what might have happened if I hadn't and I'd probably regret it for the rest of my life.
At this point, I thought I could do with a little girl's night out and some positive reinforcement in the form of a spa day with Jake and Angela.
Angela's mom ran a day spa in the city, and was always willing to let the three of us come in to be pampered. Now that I was preparing my body to be perfect for Dr. Cullen, I figured it couldn't hurt to be buffed and polished beforehand as well.
As I stepped out of my AP Trig class, I sent a quick text to Jake and Angela suggesting a trip to Angela's mom's place after school.
Jake made a joke about getting his balls waxed for his next date with Embry, the guy who got us the reservation at Canlis. As ridiculous as the idea of genital waxing might have sounded to me in the past, thinking of Dr. Cullen seeing me bare down there was more than hot enough to change my mind about the whole concept. Though I had no expectations of receiving oral sex from him, I figured it would just be safer to go bare, because no one wants hair in their teeth.
Jake had just stepped out of gym class, his lust-filled eyes following a couple of sweaty guys who were horsing around the halls, instead of watching where he was going. He nearly knocked me off my feet before he realized I was standing there.
"Shit, Jake," I muttered, trying to steady myself on his massive biceps.
So, the boy works out.
"Hey Babe." It hadn't mattered that I was almost squished by him, he was still acting all casual, slinging his arm over my shoulder. "Did you see what Jared was wearing this morning? Fuck me... seriously," he groaned.
"You're terrible - what about Embry?" I said teasingly.
"Shut it. Let's go get plucked and pampered."
"You know, I've been waiting for you to tell me what you and that doctor were talking about that night, but you never mentioned it - that could mean one of two things - either it wasn't worth mentioning and all those fuck me glances you two were shooting each other meant nothing, or those glances did mean something and you're just being a bitch and keeping it to yourself," Jake a accused from the massage table next to mine.
"Maybe a little of both," I offered in hopes that my answer would appease him, knowing it wouldn't.
"Ow fuck," he snapped as the small woman kneaded his muscular, tanned back.
"Be still," she ordered, pushing him into the massage table, punching him so hard it looked painful.
I had no idea what Jake was thinking choosing a massage that intense. I went for something more relaxing and peaceful but Jake's groans of pain were really killing my concentration. "Don't think I'll forgot about you and your hot doc. We don't have to talk about it now, but I'll be expecting a conversation with you sooner rather than later," he decided.
All too soon, or in Jake's case, not soon enough, our massages were over and we were off to meet Angela who was more interested in enjoying the sauna than a massage.
"How bad did it hurt?" Jake asked nervously, referring to my waxing, knowing it was his turn next. With all his coarse dark hair,I had a feeling Jake was going to have a much harder time than I would. I thought it might be better not to sugar coat it. He needed to know what he was getting into.
"Hmm, on a scale of one to ten?" I contemplated that, remembering the time my appendix burst - which was easily a ten. "I'd say it was a six or seven," I told him seriously.
"Well, as they say - no pain no gain," he stated nervously.
"I better warn Diane," Angela murmured. "She'll need a moment to prepare herself if she's going to be handling your teenage balls for next half hour."
As tan as he was, I never thought Jake was even capable of producing a blush – apparently I was wrong.
As Angela and I sat waiting for Jake, I felt my iPhone buzzing in the pocket of my robe. Seeing Dr. Cullen's office appear in my caller id has my heart thumping right out of my chest. It takes a moment to compose myself, before I can answer it, my hand shaking with excitement.
"Hello?" I respond as certainly as I can.
"Yes, Miss Swan?" a woman's voice came through the line, making me slump in disappointment.
"This is Miss Swan," I responded, hoping I didn't sound too annoyed by the fact that I didn't have Dr. Cullen on the phone.
If she noticed, it wasn't apparent, "Yes, this is Kate from Dr. Cullen's office. I was just calling to confirm your appointment for Saturday at one thirty."
"Yes, I be there," I told her. "What time do your offices close on Saturday?"
"We close at two on Saturdays."
"Thank you," I said before hanging up. As soon as I got off the line, I noticed Angela looking at me strangely.
"Do I have something on my face?" I responded, wiping my mouth self-consciously.
"Why are seeing Dr. Cullen Saturday?" she asked suspiciously. She must have seen his name pop up on my caller id display before I answered it.
"Why are you being nosey," I retorted defensively.
"Calm down. I just wanted to make sure you knew what you were getting yourself into, Bella."
I sighed despondently. Angela was just too smart for her own good, knew me too well. I really didn't want to talk to her about this, but she was still my friend and I could tell her heart was in the right place.
"What do you think I plan on doing, Ang?"
She pursed her lips together, studying me. "Normally, I'd say 'nothing', but I saw your face when Dr. Cullen came to the table, and I know you saw him before that moment. You were distracted nearly the whole night. So I'd say you have something crazy planned."
I shook my head, trying to clear my angry thoughts. Angela and Ben had it so easy – she just didn't understand.
"I want him," I admitted, trying not to cry. Based on the pitying look she gave me, I knew she'd never understand.
"He's a man, Bella. A grown man and if he even considers pursuing something with you, do you seriously think he's going to want anything but sex?" she told me worriedly.
"Maybe that's all I want," I lied. Of course I wanted more from Dr. Cullen, I wanted anything he was willing to give me.
"I just don't want you to get hurt. That's all," she replied quietly after hearing the vehemence in my voice.
"I know you don't Ang. I promise, I'll be careful."
After our talk, I decided that Jake would be the best alibi for my whereabouts on Saturday in case I ended up spending the night with Dr. Cullen. Ang was just too much of a risk, and if I wasn't careful she'd talk.
It was decided though – no matter what happened at Dr. Cullen's office, I planned to tell Angela it was over, and that I chickened out.
"What are you up to today?" Mom asked me, coming into my room as I was brushing out my hair.
"Just going over to Jake's. He's been begging for a John Hughes marathon for weeks, so I'm going to stay the night." I lied easily, having prepared for this conversation all week.
"That sounds fun, sweetie." Her voice sounded really nervous, so I looked over and found her fidgeting in my doorway.
"Are you okay?" I asked concerned. I was worried she might be getting depressed again, or maybe she stopped taking her meds.
"Of course, I just..." she started before pausing as if mentally coaching herself to say something. "...I have a date tonight."
"Wow, Mom that's awesome," I told her excitedly. I could hardly believe it. "What's his name? Is he hot?"
She blushed about ten shades of red before a big grin broke out on her face. "His name is Phil and he's a little younger than me, but yes he's umm... very hot," she gushed, sounding more excited than I'd heard her in years. "We met at the laundromat – he's a sports writer for the Seattle Times."
Quickly, I rushed over and pulled her into a tight hug.
"By the way... can I borrow your black pumps?" she added sheepishly.
"Mom of course, though now I'm wondering if you only told me about your date so you could ask me for the shoes," I teased.
When it was close to time to leave for Dr. Cullen's office, I grabbed my overnight bag, looking through it to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything when I packed it the night before. Everything seemed to be in order – and extra set of clothes, my toothpaste and toothbrush, cell phone charger, and a hair tie.
I gave myself a quick once over making sure nothing was out of place – I needed to look perfect. My hair was carefully styled – down with a soft wave. I wore a knee length wrap dress and decided to forgo a bra, but slipped on a pair of pink lace panties that rode low on my hips and cut high at the bottom, leaving my bare cheeks exposed.
I glanced at the clock on my iPhone. it was nearly one.
I could do this... right?